Me and my dad, we don’t really have that good kind of father daughter relationship. I don’t remember he saying “I love you girl!” to me, EVER. He is not that kind. He is the one who don’t talk much. I personally believe he don’t have the good parenting skill. Maybe no parenting skill at all. Its just not in him. But somehow deep inside, I believe that he loves me, he loves me enough because I am his daughter, one of his kids. Oh…he also loves his dogs, more than loves us (his kids). Its true.
Story about my dad, is that he is a rebel in his younger time. He don’t like going to school even though his parents can afford it. Therefore he didn’t finish his elementary class. And thats leave him uneducated. His passions for mechanical things makes him ended up being a mechanic for small garage shop. But being uneducated, he cant achieve much. Later on, he needed more money to rise us up, he changed his job and be a driver, all kind of driver be it truck, busses, taxi. He must have love that job so much he still doing it until now.
He married my mom in 1982, and having me as the 1st child in 1984, my brother in 1986, my younger sister in 1992 and my youngest sister in 2004. I am sure the last one is unexpected.
To be honest, I don’t know how old my dad is. I don’t even know his birthday. But he must be over 50yo somehow, because all his hairs is white now, he often shaved it all off.
My relationship with my dad is getting worst ever since I become independent of my parents 8 years ago. No significant conversation ever happened other than “Hi dad” every time I visit them, he would just nod, then I would just walk off. I don’t know how to interact with him. It’s just awkward. He never ask me how my school was, never ask about my friends, never ask how my life is, NEVER, nothing like that.
If I need money to pay my school or my books (thats the only thing that I remember I need from my dad), I would go to my mom, and mom will get it from dad. Though my dad didn’t earn a lot of money, he never say “No” to school or anything related to education. Mom told us, dad will worked his ass off to pay for our education, so don’t hesitate. Thats probably the only good thing about my dad. Maybe he realized, that it is important to be educated.
The last 4 years, I am kind of avoiding my dad. I don’t hate him, I just don’t feels right around him. The worst part about my dad is that he is a gambler, with not so much money that he is making, he makes my mom miserable dealing with his gambling hobby. Oh yeah, his relationship with mom is also not good. We, all his kids are on our mom’s side. He is all alone vs us.
Now, at his old age, maybe he realized he wants all of us his kids to love him. I think he started to afraid of being abandon, afraid of being a lonely old man. So lately, he sort of being warm to us. He reached out to us. I am actually very happy about this. He would invite me to go have some lunch with him. How sweet.
Back from Europe, I got my dad a perfume as a souvenir. I told him that I got him a perfume because mom always complaining that he is smelly, so now I want him to smell good so mom can be happy, and when mom happy, mom will make him happy too. He said “Thank you”, but then he continue “I would have prefer if you get me a watch”. I am not offended or mad thinking that he tried to get me to buy him something. I asked him what kind of watch he want, he said Rolex, that makes me laugh so much.
He know Rolex is a good watch, but he have no idea what the real price is. He thought its going to be like USD$150 or something. Then I explained to him that a good Rolex will cost at minimum USD$3.000,- and I could not afford that. He nodded, am sure he is understand. Then I told him, I would get him a nice watch. I think he is happy with that.
Yesterday, I went to Singapore, and I got sometime to shop. I thought about my dad, and voila…I got him a Swatch! I just hope he’s going to be happy with his new watch.