ummm….should i have one? soon?
i mean, i used to planned to have my 1st baby when i turned 26yo. which is next year. and thats only mean one thing, that i should be gettin preggo now. but…its sooo spooky, man!
i was once keeping my biatch acompany when she had her vagina plasty done, and happened that her neighboor (the lady in the next room) is giving birth…well, it sounds like it anyway…
and i was about to get something from her, and walked out of her room, and OH MY Freakin GOSH! i saw this lady, i swear i never got to see her face, but her Vagina…and its OPEN WIDE and WHAT a bloody Vagina. it looks like its been tear apart by a bear…and OUCH…i can feel the pain on my Vagina…and right away belive that i will never give birth. i dont think i could stand the pain…I Love U Mom! i mean it…
ok. thats about pain on shittin babies out.
now. i have no hubby eh…and gees..where i live, i need a hubby so my baby can be legitimate. so how???
well…nowdays, law pretty much stand on women and babies right. even thou no father, the baby can still be recognize. sounds good. so i talk to my “current” spouse. he said he is willing to give me 2 babies..wohooo…thats sound SOOO good.
n the funny thing is, that somehow everyone surround me seemed to be talkin about babies alot. like once i visit my bff who just gave birth to her 3rd one, her mom askin me, “..so Neng, dont U want one?” of course i can only smile and shook my head saying “..no..not really, havent thought abt it yet!” but i think she doesnt believe me…
and i attended my junior high school re-union, and everyone comin with babies…geez us! i feel old!
and then lats nite my spouse talked about his brother babies…BABIES again??!!
we talked about it…thought am KOOL with it, but i cant help it BUT thinkin about babies all night long. i WANT ONE? uugghhhh….the thought it self scared the shit out of me…do i REALLY want one?
i dunnooooo…but if i really want one, i want it SOON. stick to my plan. 26yo become a Mommy. but i cant even take care of myself yet, how am i gonna deal with this issue? and NO, am not gonna rely on its Father, i assumed my spouse can leave me anytime he want. so How?
what about later? WHEN? when am 29? i’ll be too old, NO? i want to be able to be “not so much age distance” with my daughter..uuugghhh…see..i want a baby gurl…GEEZ US…scary shit…i want a girl!
i am so doom. confused. as usual. panicking. umm….???!
the BIGGEST question yet; WILL i be happy if i have one?